Dad

What you did to me....

You hit me when you couldn't control me

You hit me when you were angry and rageful

You threatened and intimidated me

You called me names

You told me I was gaining weight and made me take diuretics

You would't allow me to talk if the tv was on

You didn't allow thoughts or opinions, at all, and even less if they didn't match yours

You degraded me

You stripped my of my self worth, confidence

The worst was the hug and the I'm sorry later, that always made me want to hurl and I could feel myself shrink more and more each time.

You made life very unstable, never knowing when everything would blow

You caused such disappointment when the garage door would open, not knowing if you were coming in happy, or coming in throwing things and screaming.

You were a mean, mean man

You have caused in me a fear of authority...so much so that if my boss requested my presence in her office, I felt like I needed to puke. I am thankful to God, that I am free of this, it's a good feeling to be free.

You have caused in me a fear of intimacy

You have caused a general fear in my life

You have caused me to fight depression on different occasions in my life

You would withhold your love from me to manipulate situations and when that wouldn't work you would use harsh words and hands

Because of you, I am afraid to be married.

You have caused me to not like myself

You have caused me to eat to deal with my emotions

You have caused a lot of heartache and pain in my life.

You are a mean, mean man.